Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Take it Back

Recently, someone asked a group I was with what was memorable about 2013. We took turns answering, and I struggled for a while to try and think of anything positive in 2013's offerings. Of course, there were good things about this year. Probably the best parts have been the great relationship I'm currently enjoying with a kind, dedicated man who treats me wonderfully, the way my daughters have blossomed into young women, and the completion of my degree - 20 years later than I originally planned, but hey! I graduated!

But even with all those good things, 2013 has put some serious pitfalls in my path. I've enumerated those here on this blog and there is no need to go through them again. Suffice it to say that as I count down toward midnight tonight, I am glad to unpack and use up the final day of this year. It can't pass fast enough. I know that there is no guarantee that 2014 will be better, but I am ready to move on.

There have been moments of great happiness, times of meaningful learning, and I have experienced deep love. I know much more about who I am, why I do what I do, and what I want from life. These things have been worthwhile. It is human nature, I guess, to question why the best lessons have to come from the deepest hurts, but maybe that's just the way things are.

When all is said and done, it is good to be alive, despite the pain and loss. My message to the universe for 2013 is: take it back. Two-thousand-thirteen was a broken, rotten, defective year, so you can have it. When the last glass is raised and the final bits of confetti are swept up, there is nothing about 2013 that I will miss. The self-awareness and healing I've accomplished will travel forward with me into the future. The rest can stay behind.

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